Currently

I love you twitter but you’re being stupid.

I follow people for the best jokes. I realize no one can be “on” 24-7 but I’m so sick of the formulaic shit. I shouldn’t be judgmental but wait, yes I should be… I try and hold myself to a higher standard and I’m doing the same for others.

I’m not telling anyone HOW to tweet. You’re just being a lazy writer if all you do is fart jokes and puns. That’s a fact. And there’s nothing wrong with that, just acknowledge it for what it is.

I’m insane. I treat Twitter like a business (that I make NO MONEY AT). Every day I try and write 2-5 quality jokes for you, for free. I’ve done that for almost two years now and I’m damn proud of the body of work I’ve created.

I just think that so many people on here are way more talented than they believe or try to be. I just hate seeing so many people going for the easy joke.

I’m off my soapbox. I’m just a dude who’s fucked up his fair share. Just sharing my thoughts.

Oh and if you unfollowed me last night, thanks!!! We’re deffz not right for each other. Enjoy ‘2 and 1/2 Men,’ ‘The Hangover (Parts V-VIII),’ and ‘ASSSSHITFARTYFART!’ the new show on IMDEADONTHEINSIDE Network.

For those of you who continue to follow and sent/send messages of support: THANK YOU. You are amazing and keep me going. I am a broke comedian trying to make it. Probably won’t but I just might. Regardless, thanks for not being dickwads :)

29 January 2012 ·

Troofph.

I am writing this for you. 

YOU.

Not the asshole next to you trying to read this on your iPhone or the fat bastard that you call a roommate that never does the dishes.

This is for your eyes only:

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for following me on Twitter or Tumblr or being a fan of my comedy. Most days I wake up and want to put my head in a trash compactor. You guys and gals that @ me telling me something is really funny or made your day, when I hear/read that, words fail me. That’s why I do this. For you. I just want to make you guys laugh with my weird sense of humor.

I’ve been getting a lot of hate mail (via twitter and e-mails) over the last two months. It’s horrendous shit: telling me I’m a faggot, should kill myself, that I’m full of myself, etc.

It makes me feel like shit and I seriously thought about deleting my account at one point but fuck that.

I’m in it to win it. I couldn’t do it without you. So from the bottom of my heart,

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Sam Grittner

28 December 2011 ·